I logged into my university's website one day and saw an announcement to "Make Love Real!". I thought it was sweet, compared to all the rabidly commercial announcements to buy roses, toys and random stuff that neither you nor your (future) lover would need. It would be nicer if they sold rice cookers instead. So I clicked on the link, not knowing what to expect but was sorely disppointed to find out that it was yet another "buy roses!" advert. I was pissed =P.
So I decided to take the bull by the horns. I thought it would be nice to give away freebies for Valentine's Day, something people would find useful, something people would think, "I am so glad I got one!". And I had this brilliant epiphany. I would give free hugs! Now, admittedly, it wasn't something entirely novel. A friend had done it once for her column in the university magazine and the whole idea was received enthusiastically by those on the receiving end. That was sometime in 2007.
This time it was different. It wasn't something experimental. There was a cause in mind, to de-commercialise Valentine's Day. Besides, if my non-facebook readers haven't noticed, I'm a guy. I'm huge, 6'2" and a fluctuating number of pounds. I sometimes have a french beard. And red glasses. A lot of people expressed skepticism when I first tried to get people to join the crusade. "Who would hug you?" or a caucasian friend remarked, "in an Asian society?". Whatever that meant. Shit, I Was so going to give up even before it started.
But no, I hung out with my friend (the same one who did the original Free Hugs) one afternoon at the Faculty of Arts canteen. I shared the idea with a bunch of us who just met there. What amazed me was how enthusiastic they were. They were like "Hell yeah! Count me in". By the day it was time to execute the campaign, our attendance had gone up to ten then dropped down to two (myself and another girl we met at the table). The next day another friend joined in and it was three altogether.
I got the sign from my friend and set up shop along the arts walkway, in front of my nemesis. The stall selling flowers and teddy bears. It took ten minutes for the first hug. Understandably people are a little squeamish when hugging a guy whom they don't know and a girl whipered how she would be more comfortable if I was girl.
Perfectly fine. The process had its amusing moments though. I recall people walking past, looking at the sign and going "Free hugs? *snigger*", or couples walking by and the girl telling her boyfriend, "hey, look. Free hugs. Go get one" and the boy inevitably gives the girl a weird look. I noticed, for some reason that Singaporean men were more squeamish about giving and receiving hugs compared to women. I had an extremely odd moment when a sociologist comes up to me and asks me about this whole thing I'm doing. For some reason, he had a notion that the people who hugged me were insecure an nervous. I had to point out that it was there other way round. We had an awkward conversation after which he told me that he'll be observing me from a corner. "Thanks for your time", I retorted.
What really struck me was how simple it was, yet how priceless it was to people. Most notably, there was a guy rushing for a presentation who stopped, looked at the sign and said, "I need one". I was glad to help. After the presentation, he came back and thanked me. There was this really short girl who was so excited seeing me that she jumped as she tried to hug me and hit my jaw really hard. Really hard. I laughed and thanked her. This was in contrast to a) friends who didn't "recognise" me when they walked by and b) others who said they were an in rush.
I realise that this whole physical affection thing is never a one sided affair. It's not a give and take. It's a sharing. Both people enjoy it. If there is another lesson I had to learn from this, it's this : ignore the haters.
It was so fulfilling that we are going to do it again. Soon. Are you in?
P.S My friends write up is featured in the comments section on my facebook note.
Very heartwarming!